Falling Apart
by jperroso
Summary: Spencer becomes suicidal after Toby's betrAyal. Will Toby ever get a chance to explain himself to her, or will Mona whisk him away by blackmail first? Future sexual content. Also has a lot to do with suicide.
1. Chapter 1

**warning: deals with suicidal thoughts. Also, sexual content in the future.**

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It's hard to breathe or stay calm when you think about what a big lie it all is. You believed that this one person was your angel, and then they break your heart. You realize that they're not an angel... they're just an angel in disguise. Underneath that angelic mask, it's just a devil...a devil straight from hell. This devil pretended to be an angel, and they stole your heart and made you feel like you were safe. All along, you thought you were safe, but you were really with the most dangerous person of all.

She didn't even feel like their was a purpose to her life anymore. She spent the past year spending most of her free time cozying up to someone she thought was the best person in her life. She thought she was really loved by him, but that was clearly all a lie. It was all just a laughing matter to him. He was probably in his devilish little lair, laughing his fucking ass off as he watched the girl he pretended to love crumble.

She didn't feel safe anymore. The world seemed like a cold and dark place. That's all she believed the world was now. There's more evil than good in the world. There are so many corrupt people in the world, and she managed to fall in love with one of those corrupt people. She thought this corrupt person was just the most charming and amazing young man she had ever met, but he was just another one of those corrupt assholes in the world. He only did things to benefit himself. He was one of those remorseless beasts who just wanted to please himself. He was probably getting a good laugh or two about this, huh?

There was no point to living anymore if everything she believed was a lie! She was going to end this tonight. She didn't want to be a victim of this game anymore. She wasn't thinking about all the people that would miss her. She was just going to end her life in the blink of the eye, because of one guy. He wasn't just a guy to her, though. She thought he was her soulmate, but all along, he had zero feelings for her.

How dare he just take her virginity without loving her!? Did he just think that it would be fun to have some sex that day? Was he just a pervert looking to pretend to love a girl, and then fuck her and leave her? That's all she saw when she thought about him. She didn't see the angel that she used to see in her head. All she saw was him in that black hoodie. She couldn't think of him as that sweetheart that kissed her goodnight and held her hands when things were getting tough.

She was putting an end to it tonight, though. The world didn't need her anymore. The world wouldn't even care if she was gone! There were plenty of other people on the planet who are more important than her, anyways. Maybe no one would even notice if she disappeared.

She held an orange bottle of pills in her hand. Was she really going to do this?

She had to do it. It was the only way out.


	2. Chapter 2

**chapter 2**

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"Spencer," a faint voice said. It was a girl. She knew that feminine voice well. She loved that voice, but she didn't know if she could trust the girl anymore. She always believed that Toby was the most trustable person ever, but clearly she was wrong. She was beginning to even doubt if her best friends were innocent now.

"What the hell are you doing!?" she shrieked as she ran up to the brunette and knocked the pills out of her hand. The little pills scattered across the floor. "Spencer, were you actually going to do that? I know you...you're better than this. Why are you doing this?"

"There's no reason for me to be living anymore! I'm sick of living just so I ca be A's punching bag!" Spencer yelled. "Please leave, Aria. Pick up my pills and get the hell out of here. You don't need to be here, I can handle myself."

"You actually think I'm gonna stand here and let you kill yourself?" aria asked, raising her eyebrows. "Well the answer is HELL NO! Why are you doing this, Spence? You can talk to me. You can tell me why..."

"I don't know who to trust anymore," she whispered, breathing heavily.

"Calm down and talk to me, babe," Aria said, and stroked her friend's back.

Toby used to call her babe. She hated remembering that. Without thinking, she slapped Aria right across the face.

"Spencer," Aria whimpered. "What did I do? I'm just trying to help."

"I don't need your help. Go away!" Spencer yelled.

"No, I know you're hurting for some reason, so I don't care that you just slapped me," Aria said. "I won't let you hurt yourself. I'm staying the night. Either that, or I'm calling Radley and checking you right in. Suicide is not a joke, Spencer."

"This isn't a joke. Let me do what I want." Spencer said.

"If that means that my best friend is going to hurt herself, I'm sorry, I can't do that." Aria said. "I'm spending the night."


End file.
